Who is a SoftSpoken Feminist?
This statement, might seem ludicrous to some. And I totally empathize. Seeing the plight of women in the country. It is surprising that all women are not turning into activists. But here’s a catch to this entire dilemma. Our culture (The Indian culture) goes way back to a time where parents and children remain unseparated for life. And proudly so. India has stayed away from problems like loneliness, and other complicated problems that arise from that. For some women to come out as activists in a culture where women are worshipped, does starkingly disrespect their roots. History is evidence that people who disrespect their roots, are seldom at peace.
At the cost of sounding completely paradoxical; most women find it hard to explain their reasons of being feminists in the Indian Society. You see, most of us are not blessed with families who have spoken up. And that is because our families were struggling with basics. Any 90’s kid has watched his/her family struggle on some common grounds; Money, Safety and Security for the family; in an uncertain economic and political environment. Today, all that parents know of , is to protect their children, nurture their children; based on this assumption that their children will always be children no matter how old they are. (Watch Oprah’s interview with Abhishek)
Now here comes the fun part. With the utmost amount of care, India is seeing a rise in the number of literate women amongst it’s metropolitan population. The country has one of the highest number of young population in the world! Half of them are women. And these are women, who are educated, capable and loved and adored by their families; who may have been coming from conservative and/or reserved families. Now because these girls are educated in the real sense; Because their reserved families, have done their best to educate them, they understand the importance of being feminist. However, the same families, who have funded the education of these girls, are still skeptical when it comes to them choosing life partners themselves, or building families, or maybe even posing with a bikini on Instagram!!!
So here’s the deal, being feminist, what’s the real objective?
The real victory for any feminist today (yes I dare to speak on behalf of most of the feminists around the world), is that the world sees that opportunities, are given without having a gender as a predescribed condition. Whether it’s a job, (and the second wave of feminist movement began with the agenda of having equal pay for women), or whether it’s about playing a sport, or practically before doing anything; a Feminist would want that he/she is not judged based on his/her gender per say. Which also means that men needn’t be non criers, all time problem solvers and money making machines.
Now my question to you is, to achieve this, do we need to be activists? Is that the only way? With all due respect to multiple activists, who I could never stop admiring, and I could never dream of being like them, because maybe I dont have that kind of strength; but does that make me ineligible to be a feminist?
Some women have their own quieter ways of protesting.
I have been witness, to women, supporting women blindly. Just with the hope of giving them courage. I have seen women supporting men, with the hope of taking away the societal burden that comes on them because of patriarchy.
For some of us who are soft spoken, by genetics and by upbringing; fighting within the household, might not make the best step in the path to achieving equality. And why not? We all have the freedom to choose our path’s.
Some of us want to make changes, behind the scenes. Yes we see all the objectification, generalisation, and partial behaviour based on gender. I mean I can’t point out one woman who I know of, who has never faced sexism!
Despite these existential troubles, many women today are Not leaving the workforce. While the society it seems will take about a 100 years to change (WEF Report); what do we, the women who are already born and well educated in today’s times, do till then? Yes, we are outspoken, but does that mean we are fightercocks?
Can there exist a soft spoken feminist? Yes, to answer the main paradoxical question, some of the most powerful women are extremely softspoken; and in a time where Brene Brown’s leadership with vulnerability and Ariana Huffington’s empathy are the new weapons of the new age Durga; there is a small emerging army of women, who are feminists but not necessarily activists. They are embracing families and societies, by being the change themselves, by working to create impacts, by writing to heal, by creating films to move, by striving to lead; and no one would dare say these women dont strive for equality.
They are women who will change things, but not fight with their surroundings and support systems.
